Move fast kid, the end is near!

15 11 2009
2012 Movie Ticket 00

I paid 180 pesos for a guaranteed seat to watch "2012"... and get a major eyeball exercise!

AMERICAN DISASTER movies do not disappoint.  Please let me make that clear.  I mean, the very moment Danny Glover appeared on the big screen as the president of the United States of America, I knew exactly what was about to happen within the movie’s two-hour-and-forty-five-minute run time – a cataclysmic event.  Not that it was any surprise given all the hype about “2012,” but I could’ve placed a bet with anybody that up to this one, the US president would be black.  But unlike when Morgan Freeman was president, the apocalypse wasn’t about to come by way of a comet in a direct collision path with the Earth.

2012 was based by disaster movie director Roland Emmerich on the Mayan prediction that the planets would align on the 21st of December 2012, bringing forth the disastrous movement of the earth’s crust – along with it volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, tsunamis – and the ultimate shifting of the poles.  How was six billion people going to survive this?

With a premise that historical – at least at the way it sounds, tracing back to the Mayans – I had high expectations about how the story would be.  But sadly, all the story was lumped into the first few minutes, beginning at a discovery at 11,000 feet underground at a copper mine in India in 2009, to subsequent events and top secret efforts in 2010, 2011, all the way to 2012.  That’s when the year appeared as a title card on the screen.  It was downhill from there.

With paper-thin screenplay, the movie undoubtedly was just a very egotistical display of Emmerich’s directorial prowess – at using special effects.  Clearly, 2012’s ground-breaking eye-popping special effects have put to shame his previous efforts on “The Day After Tomorrow,” “Godzilla,” and “Independence Day.”  But with all those effects and attention to details, 2012 is simply Noah’s Ark for this day and age.  Only, animals were airlifted this time.  And the filthy rich could pay for seats in the ark for the staggering price of one billion euros – not dollars! – each.  Faith in God and a clear conscience wouldn’t get you a ticket to ride.

Fortunately, the movie didn’t employ the top actors.  Their lines, blocking and projections would be stolen anyway by all the catastrophic scenes.  Honestly, not one of the movie’s efforts to wring my lachrymal glands dry worked.  How could I be moved when I couldn’t get past why even after all those thousands-meters-high tidal waves and sinking land mass – all cellphones still worked!  Clearly that was fiction.  A couple of months back, we sustained a month’s rainfall in six hours… and most cellular communications shut down.

But I got to thinking, what if Meryl Streep were in it?  But what role would she play?  Certainly not Amanda Peet’s, it’s of a young mom.  Thandie Newton’s?  Too thin – and I’m not referring to her frame.  Oh, she could play the president of the United States.  After all, Hollywood had already succeeded in conditioning the mind of the people that it was high time for a black president.  They could divert their efforts now to putting a woman in the White House.

Quick, run a query on disaster urban legends, hire Roland Emmerich, and cast Meryl Streep as president!


Copyright © 2009 by eNTeNG  c”,)™©’s  MuchTime™©.  All rights reserved.




One response

19 11 2009

Before the end befalls to us all…

This deserves a Magdaragat treat!!! Wooooohhhh!!!

I haven’t watched the movie yet (nagkukuripot) but really I plan to watch the movie some time later. However, after reading Boss eNTeNG’s review of the movie, I decided just to buy a clear pirated DVD copy once it is available (for the effects I guess).


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